Honesty & Truth!
Many people fear it. Many people can't understand it. Many people don't respect. Many people can't accept it.
What is it about these two words, these two actions that make many people feel so intimidated?
I was in a relationship with a guy that used to say to me "A lie is sincere." And, it just as well may be. Yet, I am a strong, confident and a secure woman. Not only will I respect your truth and honesty; I will allow it to set me free.
Let me break down what I mean by "Set Me Free." This is a little far fetched but, it has happened to someone out there.
You meet a man and he's perfect. He's everything you've ever wanted in a man. He's strong, confident, secure, he can and will provide, he's affectionate, loving, caring, he can cook, he can clean, he's intelligent, he respects you, he understands you, he enlightens you, he wants to protect you, and etc.
You'vw been in a relationship with this man for three years. It's Christmas time and he has to go out of town for work. It was a last minute thing and all of your family lives out-of-state. While he's out of town one of your home-girls invites you to a Holiday Gathering at a one of their friends family's home. You had no plans. So you accept. You get there and the ambiance is great. The food is smelling good. The folks are treating you like family. And all is well. You've been there for a couple of hours when the door bell rings.
And... in walks your man with his wife and kids.
Now, that truth will make you go crazy. But, let's just say you were dating this guy for two weeks and he came out with truth and was honest. That truth and honesty will set you free by giving you the option to decide on whether or not you would like to continue a relationship with this man knowing his circumstances. Shoot.. you may have some circumstances of your own that would make a relationship like this a perfect fit for you. I don't know. I don't judge.
Now, let me touch base on the phony and the fake. Ever been with a man or a woman who fronts like they don't talk to any members of the opposite sex. Or even better, they don't talk to the opposite sex around you. Well, what are they doing behind your back that they can't do in your face???
Beware of the fake and the phony decepticons. They are out there.
What are your experiences dealing with the fake and the phony??
-LaRisa Janai
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
"Caught Him Out There, Pt 2"
Locking the door behind her she storms out with her overnight bag in her hand. Feeling frustrasted and betrayed as she walks down the street and through the snow that lies on the ground from night before. Feelings of uncertainty cross her mind as she stops to take a look back. She thinks to herself "Did I overreact? Should I have waited to confront him?" Shaking her head in disgust she continues on what feels to be like a long walk home.
When she arrived at her car it was buried in snow. Once again disgusted, she thinks to herself "A real man would have cleaned the snow off my car already." She put her keys in the ignition, turned the defrost on and begun to clean the car of snow. Since the snow was more like ice she had to wait in the car until the defrost started to work. Five minutes went by and it wasn't quite ready. Ten minutes go by and it is beginning to defrost. Twelve minutes go by and she recieves a phone call.
It was him, wondering where she had gone and if she were coming back in. When she answered "No" he replied "Oh god! What's wrong now?" And, she answered "You."
He then asked,
"What could I have possibly done? Everything was perfect. We were having a great time."
"That's true everything was perfect, until I discovered the real you."
He continued to hit her with the Blah, Blah, Blah. But, she wasn't hearing any of it. He asked, "Where are you now?"
"In my car waiting for it to defrost."
"I'll be right there." he replied. But, she couldn't have cared less.
And, like the Jackson 5, but without calling his name, when she looked over her shoulders he was right there outside in the cold pleading his case. But, all she had to say was "You're fake, phony and a fraud." He tried to get irate but she wasn't having that either. She wasn't giving in or giving up any info. He begged for her to come in the house to talk it out. She resisted until she was too tired from fighting. Plus, it was almost Five in the morning and she really didn't feel like driving... all.the.way.home.
She was already HOT, but once she got inside the house and in the heat, her blood was boiling over. She wanted to hit him with everything in site, but she didn't. She maintained her composure.
She looked at him in his eyes and said "You have the platform just be honest to me, tell me what you're hiding. I will not judge you and I won't hold it against you. I just need you to be honest with me. I need you to tell me what I already know." He looked confused. You could almost see the thoughts running through his mind like "Damn!!! What does she know? I hope it's not this and I hope it's not that." But, it was this, that, and whole lot more. As he stood there not saying a word, not opening up and not being honest she knew that this was it. There was no way that they would ever rebuild what has just been destroyed. She believed in honesty and he believed in using trust as a form of trickery. He held her honesty against her making her believe that honesty was wrong and trusting in someone who was playing you, was right.
So, I end with these few questions...
Do you tell your significant other about the men or women friends in your life or do you keep them as secret.
Where do you draw the line with friends that you talk to and text, who are not your significant other?
If you're chilling with your significant other and their phone rings, yet they only answer the phone for the same sex, does that raise a red flag?
Please comment.
-LJ
When she arrived at her car it was buried in snow. Once again disgusted, she thinks to herself "A real man would have cleaned the snow off my car already." She put her keys in the ignition, turned the defrost on and begun to clean the car of snow. Since the snow was more like ice she had to wait in the car until the defrost started to work. Five minutes went by and it wasn't quite ready. Ten minutes go by and it is beginning to defrost. Twelve minutes go by and she recieves a phone call.
It was him, wondering where she had gone and if she were coming back in. When she answered "No" he replied "Oh god! What's wrong now?" And, she answered "You."
He then asked,
"What could I have possibly done? Everything was perfect. We were having a great time."
"That's true everything was perfect, until I discovered the real you."
He continued to hit her with the Blah, Blah, Blah. But, she wasn't hearing any of it. He asked, "Where are you now?"
"In my car waiting for it to defrost."
"I'll be right there." he replied. But, she couldn't have cared less.
And, like the Jackson 5, but without calling his name, when she looked over her shoulders he was right there outside in the cold pleading his case. But, all she had to say was "You're fake, phony and a fraud." He tried to get irate but she wasn't having that either. She wasn't giving in or giving up any info. He begged for her to come in the house to talk it out. She resisted until she was too tired from fighting. Plus, it was almost Five in the morning and she really didn't feel like driving... all.the.way.home.
She was already HOT, but once she got inside the house and in the heat, her blood was boiling over. She wanted to hit him with everything in site, but she didn't. She maintained her composure.
She looked at him in his eyes and said "You have the platform just be honest to me, tell me what you're hiding. I will not judge you and I won't hold it against you. I just need you to be honest with me. I need you to tell me what I already know." He looked confused. You could almost see the thoughts running through his mind like "Damn!!! What does she know? I hope it's not this and I hope it's not that." But, it was this, that, and whole lot more. As he stood there not saying a word, not opening up and not being honest she knew that this was it. There was no way that they would ever rebuild what has just been destroyed. She believed in honesty and he believed in using trust as a form of trickery. He held her honesty against her making her believe that honesty was wrong and trusting in someone who was playing you, was right.
So, I end with these few questions...
Do you tell your significant other about the men or women friends in your life or do you keep them as secret.
Where do you draw the line with friends that you talk to and text, who are not your significant other?
If you're chilling with your significant other and their phone rings, yet they only answer the phone for the same sex, does that raise a red flag?
Please comment.
-LJ
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
"Caught Him Out There"
Why is it that MEN or should I say "So-Called Men, Playas" or whatever they are calling themselves these days, always manage to get "caught out there?"
Imagine this......
You spent the entire weekend with your man and everything was going well. No arguments, fights, debates or aggrevation of any sort. It's Two O'clock in the morning and neither one of you are tired, so you decide to go for a run.
You all are out there in the cold with the fresh air brushing against your face. Enjoying each other and enjoying life. Now, you get back to the house and he ask
"Do You want to take your shower first or should I take mine?"
Since, you always take your shower first, you rep
"Baby, you can take yours first."
And now, it's a little after 3:30AM. You're man is in the shower, you are lying on the bed reflecting on your relationship with him, thinking what a good man you have and are thanking God for him. When all of the sudden you hear, back to back vibrating sounds coming from the nightstand to your right. It's his cell phone. You think to yourself "Oh hell no! I done been down this road too many times before."
You take a deep breath, sit up in the bed then reach for the phone. Without hesitation, and feeling somewhat anxious you open the cell phone and see that there is a text message from a woman who obviously wasn't you at 3:54 in the morning. Shaking your head in disbelief and disgust, you read it. HELL YEAH!!!! You Read that message! And, it says "U Up?"
Your blood is boiling just a little when you start thinking about all the times you may have text him or he may have text you with those same exact words "U Up?" and what it meant to you. Yet, stil feeling a little anxiety you say to yourself "Fuck rationalization!!!" you text back with a reply of "Yes"
What a Bold Bitch!?!
Less then five seconds pass and you receive a reply "What are you doing?" you answer "Y Wassup?" Now, ten seconds go by and you're hoping his ass don't get out the shower. Then Boom, an incoming text comes through and it reads "What's wrong with you, Geesh" and you no longer need to reply.
Instead, you get the fuck up, put on your clothes, pack your shit, and get the fuck out of there....
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT???? Wouldn't you like to know??? First, kindly answer these three questions.
DO you think she was wrong for leaving?
Wrong for checking the phone?
Wrong for texting back?
Let me know what you think....
Imagine this......
You spent the entire weekend with your man and everything was going well. No arguments, fights, debates or aggrevation of any sort. It's Two O'clock in the morning and neither one of you are tired, so you decide to go for a run.
You all are out there in the cold with the fresh air brushing against your face. Enjoying each other and enjoying life. Now, you get back to the house and he ask
"Do You want to take your shower first or should I take mine?"
Since, you always take your shower first, you rep
"Baby, you can take yours first."
And now, it's a little after 3:30AM. You're man is in the shower, you are lying on the bed reflecting on your relationship with him, thinking what a good man you have and are thanking God for him. When all of the sudden you hear, back to back vibrating sounds coming from the nightstand to your right. It's his cell phone. You think to yourself "Oh hell no! I done been down this road too many times before."
You take a deep breath, sit up in the bed then reach for the phone. Without hesitation, and feeling somewhat anxious you open the cell phone and see that there is a text message from a woman who obviously wasn't you at 3:54 in the morning. Shaking your head in disbelief and disgust, you read it. HELL YEAH!!!! You Read that message! And, it says "U Up?"
Your blood is boiling just a little when you start thinking about all the times you may have text him or he may have text you with those same exact words "U Up?" and what it meant to you. Yet, stil feeling a little anxiety you say to yourself "Fuck rationalization!!!" you text back with a reply of "Yes"
What a Bold Bitch!?!
Less then five seconds pass and you receive a reply "What are you doing?" you answer "Y Wassup?" Now, ten seconds go by and you're hoping his ass don't get out the shower. Then Boom, an incoming text comes through and it reads "What's wrong with you, Geesh" and you no longer need to reply.
Instead, you get the fuck up, put on your clothes, pack your shit, and get the fuck out of there....
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT???? Wouldn't you like to know??? First, kindly answer these three questions.
DO you think she was wrong for leaving?
Wrong for checking the phone?
Wrong for texting back?
Let me know what you think....
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Is is Okay for a Woman to Hit Her Man????
We always hear about men abusing their womem; from bitch slapping them, to hitting them, to beating, kicking, punching and dragging them around on the ground like rag dolls. Some men even go as far as to kill their women.
But, how often to we hear about women beating on their men? Seldomly. So, seldom that so many women begin to feel that it is acceptable. You may even hear some women say "Well, he must have done something wrong for her to just up and hit him." But, how would that apply if it were coming from a mans mouth in regards to abusing women. For some reason, I don't think that women would take it very lightly.
So, what makes a woman feel that it is okay to put her hands on a man and think that he won't or better not put his hands on her? What do women think about? What goes on through their minds? Do women think "Well I know his momma raised him not to put his hands on a woman, so he ain't gonna hit me back?"
Honestly, I have no idea. And, I ain't even gonna front. I have put my hands on a few dudes and rarely have any of them tried to defend themselves. But, for the ones that did. It was almost as if I lost respect for them. Like, How dare him defend himself. Sounds kind of crazy right?? Yeah well, that's because it is crazy.
In realationships, both sexes need to learn how to keep their hands and tempers to themselves. You can not let your emotions get the best of you and the best of your relationship. If you are with someone that you feel like you need to put your hands on, then you're probably not with the right person and should seek counseling for some help with anger management.
Jewel: If you allow someone to trigger you to the point where you have to step outside of your norm then you are allowing that individual to control you.
But, how often to we hear about women beating on their men? Seldomly. So, seldom that so many women begin to feel that it is acceptable. You may even hear some women say "Well, he must have done something wrong for her to just up and hit him." But, how would that apply if it were coming from a mans mouth in regards to abusing women. For some reason, I don't think that women would take it very lightly.
So, what makes a woman feel that it is okay to put her hands on a man and think that he won't or better not put his hands on her? What do women think about? What goes on through their minds? Do women think "Well I know his momma raised him not to put his hands on a woman, so he ain't gonna hit me back?"
Honestly, I have no idea. And, I ain't even gonna front. I have put my hands on a few dudes and rarely have any of them tried to defend themselves. But, for the ones that did. It was almost as if I lost respect for them. Like, How dare him defend himself. Sounds kind of crazy right?? Yeah well, that's because it is crazy.
In realationships, both sexes need to learn how to keep their hands and tempers to themselves. You can not let your emotions get the best of you and the best of your relationship. If you are with someone that you feel like you need to put your hands on, then you're probably not with the right person and should seek counseling for some help with anger management.
Jewel: If you allow someone to trigger you to the point where you have to step outside of your norm then you are allowing that individual to control you.
Monday, January 19, 2009
"What Cheating is to Me, May Not be Cheating to You"
Picture this...
Lying on your side in bed after intercourse, your hand rest on your forehead. While starring at your man as he smokes a cigarette you think to yourself "Damn, he's the best. Almost perfect! What more can I ask for?"
Yet, you know come tomorrow night you'll go back to living your double life; with a another man in a another bed. And, though you know your body belongs to only him, something about the double life that you live doesn't sit well within.
Cheating!! Where do I begin?
Let me start by defining Cheating as per www.thefreedictionary.com and for the purpose of this Blog I will focus on the following definitions:
a) To mislead; illusions that cheat the eye.
b) To act dishonestly; practice fraud.
c) Informal To be sexually unfaithful: cheat on a spouse.
Now, according to me, DkSknPosterGrl, cheating is when an individual who is already in a relationship has sexual intercourse and/or participates in sexually activities with someone other than their spouse/partner/significant other.
But, that is the most obvious definition for many. Cheating is way deeper than what meets the eye.
For example, If I'm in a relationship and I still go out on dates with other guys; is that cheating? What about if I spend leisure time with other guys; is that cheating? Or, if I put another mans feelings before the man that I'm in a relationship with; is that cheating?
Well, What's Cheating to Me; May not be Cheating to you. But I definitely feel that all of the above, plus way more scandalous things that both men and women do are considered cheating. And, I am sure that many of us are very guilty of committing these relationship offenses.
Cheating is more than sexual or physical. It can be emotional and verbal. You can even cheat with time. When you are spending time with another person, innocent or not; If your spouse, significant other or partner doesn't know then it's cheating. Otherwise, why don't they know??? Even deeper, if you are spending a lot of time at work and when you acutally do have time to spend with your significant other, if it isn't quality time, then it is the same as cheating. You are cheating them and yourself of time.
In this life we have only a matter of time and time is definitely not something that should be fooled around with.
NOW, I GOTTA KEEP IT REAL!!! Otherwise, I wouldn't be myself. I have cheated in many ways. Yet, I do my best not to cheat sexually. If I feel that if I have a sexual interest in another that is much stronger than the individual that I am with, then it is time for me to re-evaluate my relationship. In addition, I have cheated with time and I have learned many lessons in regards to that matter.
Overall, cheating is something that both individuals in a relationship have to agree upon. So, in all actuality I can't break down what cheating is or isn't. That is something that you must sit down and do with your significant other.
Until Next Time,
XOXO
Poster Girl
Lying on your side in bed after intercourse, your hand rest on your forehead. While starring at your man as he smokes a cigarette you think to yourself "Damn, he's the best. Almost perfect! What more can I ask for?"
Yet, you know come tomorrow night you'll go back to living your double life; with a another man in a another bed. And, though you know your body belongs to only him, something about the double life that you live doesn't sit well within.
Cheating!! Where do I begin?
Let me start by defining Cheating as per www.thefreedictionary.com and for the purpose of this Blog I will focus on the following definitions:
a) To mislead; illusions that cheat the eye.
b) To act dishonestly; practice fraud.
c) Informal To be sexually unfaithful: cheat on a spouse.
Now, according to me, DkSknPosterGrl, cheating is when an individual who is already in a relationship has sexual intercourse and/or participates in sexually activities with someone other than their spouse/partner/significant other.
But, that is the most obvious definition for many. Cheating is way deeper than what meets the eye.
For example, If I'm in a relationship and I still go out on dates with other guys; is that cheating? What about if I spend leisure time with other guys; is that cheating? Or, if I put another mans feelings before the man that I'm in a relationship with; is that cheating?
Well, What's Cheating to Me; May not be Cheating to you. But I definitely feel that all of the above, plus way more scandalous things that both men and women do are considered cheating. And, I am sure that many of us are very guilty of committing these relationship offenses.
Cheating is more than sexual or physical. It can be emotional and verbal. You can even cheat with time. When you are spending time with another person, innocent or not; If your spouse, significant other or partner doesn't know then it's cheating. Otherwise, why don't they know??? Even deeper, if you are spending a lot of time at work and when you acutally do have time to spend with your significant other, if it isn't quality time, then it is the same as cheating. You are cheating them and yourself of time.
In this life we have only a matter of time and time is definitely not something that should be fooled around with.
NOW, I GOTTA KEEP IT REAL!!! Otherwise, I wouldn't be myself. I have cheated in many ways. Yet, I do my best not to cheat sexually. If I feel that if I have a sexual interest in another that is much stronger than the individual that I am with, then it is time for me to re-evaluate my relationship. In addition, I have cheated with time and I have learned many lessons in regards to that matter.
Overall, cheating is something that both individuals in a relationship have to agree upon. So, in all actuality I can't break down what cheating is or isn't. That is something that you must sit down and do with your significant other.
Until Next Time,
XOXO
Poster Girl
Sunday, January 18, 2009
She says "He's Just a Friend"
What's going on? Once Again, It's DkSknPosterGrl, welcoming you into my world... I don't want to waste any time.
So, How many of you Guys out there have been with a chick that has that dude that she always hangs around; and when you ask her what's up, she says" Chill Baby, He's Just a Friend?" I'm sure there are quite a few of you out there.
And for my Ladies, Be Honest....How many of you Have "A Man" and still spend time with another dude; and when your Man ask you What's up, you say "Chill Baby, He's Just a Friend?" A Whole lot of you...I know.
So, I want to get down to the bottom of this by telling an experience of mine along with my opinions on the topic. Now, I can't get down to the nitty gritty by myself. So, PLEASE leave Comments, Opinions or even your own experiences to elaborate on. Now, anyone who really knows me, knows that ya girl has serious commitment issues. There have been only a few people in my life that I have been totally committed to. And, when I say committed I mean I didn't sexually cheat on them. And, when I say I didn't cheat on them; by that I mean I chose to be in a relationship with them and when I choose to be in a relationship I am ultimately choosing to be with that person exclusively, sexually. Otherwise, I rather be single and "Do Me."
Now, I'm not trying to play Miss Goodie Two-Shoe cause that just isn't me. I have cheated in other ways that I will discuss in Blog #3 "What's Cheating to You, May Not Be Cheating to Me" where I'll will discuss how ambiguous the word cheating actually is.
Once upon a time, a long time, or as Bernie Mac would say "A Long....long, long (smiling) long, long, long, looong time ago." I had a boyfriend and while I had this boyfriend I befriended another male that I ended up spending a whole lot of time with. We talked about everything, did everything & went everywhere together.
Was I attracted to him? Absolutely!!! He was handsome, very handsome and very attractive. He was tall, had gorgeous eyes, full smooth lips, and was intelligent. He gave me good advice and was all around a good friend.
Was he attracted to me? Oh, but of course!!! I mean, it just was what it was. But, I had a Man and he had a Shortie. Now, even though a Shortie isn't the same as a Girlfriend I respected it as if it were. Why was I rendevous-ing with another man???? For, the obvious reason. Things weren't going great in my relationship. I brought the issues up to my Man, but he just didn't get it and didn't really know how to resolve the problems. I didn't want to be without him, yet I needed someone else to balance out the negative energy.
When I hung around My Friend it was like being on Vacation. Then when I would spend time with my Man, it was like working a 9-5. But, you need your 9-5 to survive. You can't be on vacation all time. And, while I chose to spend time with My Friend, we came to an understading that even though we liked each other we were going to respect the fact that we both had people in our lives that we cared about. Was it like Playing with Fire?? Absolutely. At any given moment we could have said "Fck it! Let's Do Us!" But we didn't.
So, I conclude with this... Can a girl had a dude that is just her friend while being in a commited relationship?? My answer to this is Yes, if... 1) She is totally not attracted to him. 2) If she is turned off by him. 3) If she is true her relationship. 4) If she just knows that he ain't gonna get none, and will not allow anything to influence that. Then, I totally believe that a woman can have a male that she is friends with while in a committed relationship with another male. Will he be Just a Friend?? That is totally up to her, but I don't feel that it is impossible. What do you think? What are your experiences? Leave Comments, Opinions, & Experiences. Also, if there's a topic that you want to discuss email me at DkSknPosterGrl@aim.com
Love,
Poster Girl
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
