Okay! First and before most I want to say Rihanna looked amazing. A lot of folks were getting on her forehead but to me she looked great; forehead and all.
Now, let me get down to business.
But quickly, I want to point out that the same way Rihanna was able to recognize that Chris Brown was reading off of a teleprompter is the same way that I recognize that she is not as innocent as she was portrayed during the 20/20 interview.
In past blogs on this Rihanna/Chris Brown nightmare I've mentioned that this was not the first time Chris Brown has put his hands on Rihanna. And, guess what?? I was right! Now, it may have been the first time that he got out of control with it but IMO, shoving a woman up against a wall to get your point across... in my book, IS domestic violence.
Domestic abuse always starts out small. Now, if you recall "I" myself have been in a abusive relationship. But me, unlike Rihanna did not leave after the first altercation.
It started out with a playful public tap on the face. Which could have been mistaken for a love tap. A close male friend even pointed that tap out and brought it to my attention. He said the tap inappropriate. His exact words were "He's a woman beater and he is letting you know that he beats on woman."
At the time I thought my friend was plum crazy and was just hating because once upon a time he wanted to get with me and I denied him. I thought maybe those old feelings were resurfacing. And, maybe he was wondering to himself "What does this guy have that I don't have?" *Foolish me*
Long story short... That playful public slap turned into private slaps and private disagreements that eventually grew into him publically beating me in the middle of a Brooklyn street. Honestly, I have stories for days and when I think about it.... It probably did take about 8 or 9 episodes before I finally built the nerve to leave. Oh, and you better believe I was embarrassed!!! So, embarassed that I did not and didn't want to tell anyone. I didn't want people perception of him to be tainted. I didn't want to speak on the abuse and then go back right to him and have to listen to what they would say once I went back. Because, I already knew.. I mean I ALWAYS knew that I needed to leave but at the time I just wasn't ready to go. And, that right there can kill you.
I always refer to this Queen Latifah quote "a man don't really love you if he hits you" but it was that very line that saved my life. Because, unlike Rihanna I started to fight back and used weapons to do so. I could have ended up dead or in jail running behind a man.
Rihanna said a lot of interesting and important things in her interview. I do agree with her in regards to not allowing love to make decisions for you. Don't be selfish and get so caught up in what you want that you loose sight of what you need. IMO, so many women, especially women with love self-esteem or women who come from abusive homes or homes where the father was not around much or just wasn't around at all, seem to have this strong desire to want to be love or wanted. They don't want to be alone and will keep a man (doesn't matter if he's a good man or not) by any means necessary not excluding remaining in an abusive relationship.
There are also the women who are dependent upon their abusers. Many of them don't have the first clue on how to leave or even have the desire to leave. So, they stay until their dying day. And, whether or not their abuser causes that day is a risk they are willing to take.
IMO, we have all seen and heard Chris Brown's side of the story. Well, as much as he was willing to tell. But, even after hearing Rihanna's side there still feels like something is missing. Either way, I'm very glad that she went forth with the interview and got her side out. You can see that she is still very bitter and only time will heal her internal wounds. Because like she said, the memories will haunt her forever or for as long as she allows them to. But, overall it takes time. Neither does the love nor the feelings go away lik poof.
I have more opinions on this matter so I will break them down one by one as new Blog Topics. So.. look out for that. It should be rather interesting. But, for now, let me know your opinions the interview. And, if you haven't seen it you can check them out below.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Don't forget! Let me know your opinions on the interview and if you have similar stories and/or experiences please share.
With Love,
LaRisa Janai, Ms IMO
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